Timber (2014 Solo Version) - Ke$ha
1. They are used to researching, and one wrong move might actually put you into the depths of Tartarus. Stalking is a talent, but researching is a skill. If you combine these two together, you are left with no choice but to be honest.
2. They are very critical with details, and if you miss a certain date or thing, you might actually never hear the end of it. They are trained in Journalism school to never miss a detail; may it be a politician’s name or a date that regards one country’s independence. So if you forgot to greet her during her birthday, or when your anniversary is, I suggest you play dead.
3. They are very specific with words. You must be careful with the words you use because if you misuse a word, you might never hear the end of it. It might also be taken against you. So re-read your statements, and know your words.
4. They never run out of words to say.They have countless of things to talk about, and they want to share it with you. At least have an idea about things since you don’t want them thinking that you aren’t interested at all.
5. They feel that they always have to proofread anything you’ve written.Grammar is the bread and butter of their profession. Murdering the beauty of the English language through your “masterpiece” is not a good idea. It will forever be taken against you.
6. They always feel the need to know every single angle of a story.Thus lying to them is never an option. They will eventually get to the bottom of it and know the truth through thick or thin.
7. They never run out of problems. You will go insane over their endless rants about the government, the economy, the health or education system, or maybe petty complaints about their pens loosing ink while editing a two-paged article or having to go down their apartment to get their third cup of coffee during a rigid research.
8. They will write about you. Even if you don’t like it, you have to accept that you are not (and will never be) an exception. The whole world will eventually know your existence.
9. They have this ‘omnipresent’ feel. They seem to know everything and it will make you feel like they’re always there. It’s not that they’re clingy; they’re just well versed in the world of social media, current events, news, and history.
10. You should know the difference between your and you’re since you don’t want to get stabbed by a pen.